Orthorexia and Recovery

Let me take a minute and dispel the myth that all eating disorders stem from a desire to be thinner.

Orthorexia nervorsa: an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy food.

Exhibit A: When I was in high school, almost everything my family ate was organic. At 19, I became a vegetarian because the taste of meat no longer appealed to me. By 21, I had started exhibiting signs of dairy sensitivity, with flatulence being the primary symptom (much to my roommates' chagrin). In March 2012, my digestive tract underwent a full-system shutdown, making every meal a keel-over-and-die kind of experience. It was easier to list the things I could eat rather than what I couldn't. That was when I became a gluten-free vegan, and with the help of recipes like the ones on this blog and supplements from herbdoc.com, I eventually regained the ability to eat starches and beans and acidic fruits first, then was able to get away with eggs, greek yogurt, and a little chicken or fish on occasion without any major reactions. Then by and by, I was able to return to a "normal" diet.

I was a gluten-free vegan for two and a half years. My diet was my daily prison, and salads became the bane of my existence - I have actually, literally stared at a restaurant menu and wept. There were times that even the "safe" foods would set me off. It has now been just over five years since the initial shut-down, and about two years since a meal has ended with traumatic consequences, but I still feel a bit wary when I eat sometimes.

BUT - things are finally coming full-circle! I have two amazing vegans in my life, and every time we eat together, I think about going back. I don't even like meat or eggs all that much, and dairy is really easy to replace.... Salmon. That's probably the only thing I'd miss. But I'm ready, y'all. And you get to join me once again on that journey. And this time, it's not a prison. It is an adventure in wellness.

And by the way, flexitarian is totally a thing, but a thing that requires personal discipline to maintain. It's really easy to go from "a vegan that occasionally eats animal products" to "a carnivore who sometimes eats fruit." Do what is right for your body, I'm never gonna tell you to eat a certain way just because I do. And also, being a vegan with a social life and a busy schedule is not easy. Give yourself a break sometimes - and don't sweat it.

Consume food; don't let it consume you.